Side lines

As Seth finished up his first year of preK 3 just last week, I still have an image in my mind.  Him standing alone on the playground...watching his friends play.  

Seth has always been one to stand on the side lines. He is extremely cautious.  He doesn't like the unpredictability of others. I remember at his mothers day out program, he wouldn't go near the toy box.  Too much hustle and bustle around there.  His teachers kept a small airplane in a cabinet.  When he would go there two mornings each week, that's what he played with...alone.  For two years.  

The same airplane. I just can help but wonder if Seth thinks to himself why he can't do what the other kids are doing.  Why he can't hop into the fun jump with his cousins or walk through a group of people to go find a toy.  Does he care? Does he see the difference? Or is he content and satisfied being on the sidelines where he feels safe?  

Of course as his parent it hurts to see him standing alone. Watching. Standing. Alone. I wish he could interact more often.  But maybe my heart is the only one feeling this way, maybe Seth is just fine.  Maybe one day I will know how he feels about this.  Maybe it will get better, maybe we will find better tools to help Seth along.  

I just want Seth to know that he is incredible.  Just because he stands alone and doesn't do all that the other children do...that he is amazing. He works so hard everyday.  He works just to do what we all take for granted as simple.  He works to learn what we all learn and comprehend without even trying. Seth is my hero.  I want him to know that even when he's standing alone, he is never alone. I have his back. I'm right there buddy, I love you and I'm proud of you no matter what.